The Booms A Rang weapon experiment

In my infinite wisdom Ubuntu the Great think I should make better weapons,

While I watch the TV screen I see this thing called a booms a rang from far off Australia

land. Throw this and it can hit object or if miss it come back to you. I say Zulu need one of these but I shall make bigger and better. I shall develop giant booms a rang for war. Ubuntu not want to use bid tree. I like tree to sit under. I say use dead elephant rib bone and 5 men to throw it.  First problem they can no throw it. So as usual I must think of solution. I say get giant spring idiots! Ok they try booms a rang. It go flying turn around and start to come back. 1 man go flying straight up with spring(give me idea for Observer) 2 men run screaming like freightend school girls 1 hit with brooms a wrang then man in air fall on him. I fall backward in chair on ground. Crazies All running around yelling. Man hit in head not know who he is. I say you the idiot you are the one that supposed to catch booms a wrang. Now try again. Everyone get on knees and say no no king Ubuntu please we beg you go have food or something and we clean up this mess.They plead with Ubuntu.  So I in my extreme kindness say ok. Experiment show me that project needs more work but it did show me how to get man in air to look over treetops. Try other experiments this one not work so good.

War with trollington

War was declared today on the "republic of awesome" led by "trollington" member of the alliance "The League of Somewhat Evil Nations". Ubuntu do a preemptive strike on the alliance partner of Lord Harding. trollington rise in NS very much as Zulu fight Lord Harding. I believe he preparing to attack poor Ubuntu. In 7 days time trollington attack 3 non aligned nations. He pick on helpless like his partner. I think I hit him before he comes for me. Ubuntu plan on setting him back some. Zulu official reason for war: Defending the innocent nations.

Ubuntu send this message to trollington

To: trollington From: Ubuntu the Great

Date: 1/13/2013 4:28:04 PM

Subject: Zulu war Message: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-m041j_nuTEs/UPICOJ3njOI/AAAAAAAAAG0/eCV5a0YYfPE/s1600/9756b9_165261.jpg

 

trollington mad he send message back:

 

To: Ubuntu the Great From: trollington

Date: 1/13/2013 6:57:25 PM

Subject: RE: Zulu war Message: your crazy knows no limits does it. i have been waiting for your attack. what makes you such a psychotic weirdo is it because mummy never give you a hug or is it because your uncle touched you in your "no no parts" am i in the ball park? maybe you get some sick sexual kick out of this? it must be one of these that has fixated you with "defending the innocent" and a naked African tribe. i also have reason to believe you never listened in history class as if you did you would know of Rorke's drift but ill put that down to your inability to sit for a class from all the anal bruising. your attack on my-self is the most stupid thing you have ever done i will not be blackmailed and i will not agree peace, I WILL DISTORY YOU

 

My reply to bad man trollington: 

To: trollington From: Ubuntu the Great
Date: 1/13/2013 8:31:17 PM
Subject: RE: Zulu war
Message: Oh my sir enemy you very strange. You ask me "am I in the ball park". How in the hell do I know where your crazy buttocks is. You ask about Rorkes Drift. Last Ubuntu looked Brits not in control of South Africa. Seems like Zulu won in the end. You say "your attack on my-self is the most stupid thing you have ever done." Maybe you sleep through English class? Myself has no hyphen. Also it is not the most studio thing I have ever done! So there! Last stupid half naked Zulu want to tell you that you spell destroy wrong. Come to Zulu Empire we teach you .

January 17th was a wonderful day in the Zulu neighborhood. It the first time 2 Zulu nations do joint attack on anybody. We gave that honor to trollington to be first nation so attacked. I did my 2 successful ground attacks followed by 2 successful ground attacks by smittygirl75 of Smithlandia.
smittygirls second ground attack put bad enemy man in anarchy. then we each do air and missile attacks together. trollington have no money and very weak. He beaten.

The Templar Knights ask us to please end wars. Everybody send each other peace offers and war end. Zulu victorious!

War with UraniumOverdose

Jan 13, 2013 Ubuntu the Great chief of the Zulu Empire declared war on the nation of  "The Equal States" led by ruler "UraniumOverdose" This war was declared because UraniumOverdose declared war on Ruler: Henry McKay, Nation: Irzankia, Alliance: The Templar Knights. He also on same day declared war on Ruler: Cortex F Rapture, Nation: United Cortex Xenon, Alliance: NATO. Both NATO and TTK are my friends buy most importantly I am protectorate of TTK. They are a holy alliance of good. I shall protect them from evil. My stated reason for war: Defending TTK and NATO. Zulu win both ground battles and evil UraniumOverdose now have lead overdose. He send this peace offer:

To: Ubuntu the Great From: UraniumOverdose

Date: 1/12/2013 6:58:23 PM

Subject: Peace Offer

Message: A peace offer has been submitted by UraniumOverdose for the following reason: I have ceased my attacks. As soon as both nations accept peace the war will end. If either nation attacks one another this peace offer will be automatically canceled.

 

I not accept or reject peace offer but send reply:

To: UraniumOverdose From: Ubuntu the Great

Date: 1/12/2013 8:12:52 PM

Subject: You bad

Message: Oh my goodness my foolish fellow mr uraniumOverdose. You not only attack two alliances I have befriended but one or them is the Templar Knights. Are you gone insane? They are a Holy Alliance followers of the true cross of God! It is like defiling the house of The Lord. You perhaps have heard of the wrath of god? Well now my good fellow you shall see it. For I Ubuntu the Great and the magnificent Zulu Empire is the instrument of his gods will. We are the sword of god and will make you pay for your sacrilege.

 

He still at war with my friends and I do not hear from NATO or TTK to stop. We continue attacks winning 2 more ground battles 2 air, 2 cruise missiles.

War continued and UraniumOverdose beat down to anarchy. He no longer attacks back or harm to others. I send peace offer. One Jan 19th he send peace offer too. War ofer Zulu Victory!

War with Lord Hardy

Last night the Zulu Empire led by myself, the magnificent Ubuntu the Great declared war and attacked the following nation:
Nation of NFR Hardistan, Ruler Lord Hardy of the 3 nation alliance of The League of Somewhat Evil Nations.
I shall explain why I do this good thing. This bad man has attacked 7 non aligned nations in the last 21 days. His reason: A general dispute. He have no reason but to threaten and steal tech, money and land from unprotected, innocent, non aligned, newbie nations. He bully them and then feel like big man. Ubuntu and the Zulu impi make 7 very unlucky number for Lord Hardy. We swoop down swiftly like the lion on it's prey just before update and then second attacks just after updates. My reason for war: Protecting the innocents. All 4 ground battles won by Zulu and NFR Hardistan sent into anarchy. Ubuntu in his ultimate kindness send this letter to enemy:

To: Lord Hardy From: Ubuntu the Great

Date: 1/12/2013 12:30:58 AM

Subject: To end war

Message: Oh my goodness mr lord hardy. It is I Ubuntu the Great of the Zulu Empire

defender of the innocent and the sword of god in his fight against the wicked. You alliance say you all somewhat evil. You must then face forces of good. You attack 5 innocent nations. Now you feel their retribution. To end this war you must end all warfare with every nation. No attacks. Change your alliance affiliation to Zulu POW. Send me 25 tech in war retribution. Do this then send peace offer and I will accept and go away. You then change your AA to whatever you want. Don't do this and the Zulu will surely destroy you. Repent your wicked ways. Do good not evil.

 

I believe this reply from bad Lord Hardy means no

 

To: Ubuntu the Great From: Lord Hardy

Date: 1/12/2013 7:58:42 AM

Subject: RE: To end war

Message: Oh dear looks like I'm dealing with a pathetic little man, this game is all about numbers, its very simple but I can see that you take role-playing very seriously! I mean you didn't just attack me for growth as I would have expected you to do, you clearly researched my playing history and decided to take a stand for all the 'innocents' I 'attacked.' You must be so very altruistic to offer yourself up as a defender like that! Perhaps you're where abused as a child? No? Or are you a morbidly obese virgin? maybe you have a mental or physiological dysfunction that prevents you from meaningful communication in the real world? Sure play the game, attack me, thats what your supposed to do. But to you it is clearly more than a game, this is your little fantasy that gives you (at least in your mind) some control over your life. So do all the damage you want, because in the end, you may win at playing Cyber Nations but I can comfortably say I'll always defeat you in the Game of Life.

 

I send bad Lord Hardy another note as such:

 

To: Lord Hardy From: Ubuntu the Great

Date: 1/12/2013 5:34:18 PM Subject: RE: To end war Message: Ohhhhhh mr lord hardy you sounding very angered indeed.

Now you see how it looks from other aide of battle LOSING! Ha ha you funny man.

I not pathetic little man. I big man. You long letter saying nothing.

In Zulu land we have name for you. We call you hole in the buttocks of a horse.

Bye bye. Oh p.s. Please send that morbidly obese virgin to see me.

 

I send this to Lord Hardy the bad evil ruler.

To: Lord Hardy From: Ubuntu the Great
Date: 1/12/2013 7:40:39 PM
Subject: It is I Ubuntu The Great Message:
Check out this video on YouTube:
http://youtu.be/6gfDZT2cQ-k

Oh my look what he say:

To: Ubuntu the Great From: Lord Hardy

Date: 1/12/2013 9:48:34 PM

Subject: RE: It is I Ubuntu The Great Message:

 Haha, so I can safely assume that as a 'Zulu' you know what happened at Rorke's Drift after the massacre 'your people' committed at Isandlwana? Never underestimate a small force my friend.

Ubuntu have Lord Hardy in anarchy and pounded on him. He no longer had movement, Zulu Empire send peace offer and end war with bad lord Hardy. Zulu win!

Royal Decrees, new laws, commands of Ubuntu the Great

I have most assuredly been most upset by the unfair treatment of the doggies of the Zulu Empire. Zulu official Mubango say dogs need to have license. Is most silly thing I hear of. Doggies do not drive car. You can ride a horse but horse need no license. You can ride a donkey or an elephant but person or animal not need license.You cannot ride dog and dog do not drive but it need license? This is most foolish indeed. Cat much like dog. Cat need no license.This is not natural that dogs be treated like this. Zulu Empire shall no longer require dogs to have the license unless they be the driver of the car. Mubango start policy now or Mubango be staked to ground in field filled with doggies driving cars.

Ubuntu the Great Thinks.

Ubuntu the Great has been thinking today about the Universe. I am constantly amazed by looking at the stars. I read books about planets and such things and I say to myself Ubuntu, you smart man you stargazer but I do not know answer to this question. If an asteroid hit Uranus would that create a hemorrhoid? These type of questions perplex me. That is all I think today. No more thinking rest of day.

Tech Deals

Zulu Empire technology being transported.

Ubuntu always willing to do some tech deals. Zulu Empire is fierce military machine and is in constant readiness for war. Being so we must take in income to pay our bills. When I sell tech I sell for $3 million for 50 tech. In time of war price may include you send 2,000 soldiers. I thinking price is fair and just. Ubuntu has large standing military for my size nation. This insures the protection of your tech from tech raiders. If one be so foolish to invade Zulu Empire to try to steal tech, they shall pay heavily and thus it not worth their costs to attack. It like bank with armed guards. Robber say I shall go to bank with no guards. If they come I shall killen them most dead indeed. Whatever the outcome Zulu true to his word. What I owe I pay back. Tech will be delivered. So sayith Ubuntu the Great.